Information
May 19th, 2023
Navigate the page by clicking on the three lines in the upper lefthand corner. This will take you to a screen with a bunch of different titles. Click on the one you want to read, and then bam! You're reading it baby!!!!What I'll add here may differ wildly, but basically, I'll write about stuff I like here! So things like my interests, stuff I'm really passionate about, and just stuff I want to talk about a lot will go here! I'm not totally sure what sort of organization system I'll put in place, but most likely it'll be categorized by fandoms/interests, and then date.
Some of these are just copied n pasted posts from my Tumblr or Discord conversations, because... I don't know. Just keep that in mind if things sound weird or off. Stuff might also be formatted differently because of this!
I'll also add the date at which I wrote these little rambles!! Please enjoy :3 Talk to me about your own thoughts in the livechat!
Final Destination
date unknown
i dont think you guys understand how horrible of an idea turning final destination into a movie franchise was!!the first final destination movie is about how death resides all around us. it’s a reminder that death’s plan can be next week, in a few days, or today. it reinstills that primal instinct of ‘when am i going to die?’… it shows pure and unfiltered fear about the world arounds us- about when our time will come, and if we’ll be able to overcome it.
death is everywhere and yet nowhere at once. it waits and stalks its prey, staring… quiet, until one vicious moment where your life will be taken from you without warning. death is not held in someone’s hands- no one controls death. death is a thing in it of itself, and it will always follow through with its plans.
so when a boy named alex disrupts these plans, death shits itself.
it’s the journey about following alex while he jumps through hoops in an attempt to understand death, to counteract it, to win, that is worth watching the first final destination movie. you see how cruel death can be; you watch how alex overcomes death; afterwards, you can’t look at things the same. it’s a fantastic movie that means a lot to me.
then imagine trying to recreate the same exact fucking movie four more times because people want to see more of the gore.
the other final destination movies follows the SAME FUCKING PLOT with small differences and it’s not FUN!
HERE’S A FUCKING CHECKLIST IF YOU WANT IT.
1- main protag gets a vision about a horrific disaster that kills a lot of people.
2- they freak out, and force other people to leave the situation or stop them from going to the scene of the accident
3- people dont believe protag about their vision (these people die)
4- at least one person believes protag (they don’t die)
5- protag has to figure out in which order everyone is dying in
6- everyone but protag and their companion die
7- rinse and repeat
the final destination franchise is bad. it’s boring and bland and all it becomes is a gorefest. it becomes a franchise that exists purely to show off hyper-realistic cgi of people blowing up or whatever. it puts a bad taste in my mouth because final destination can be so much more than the absurd deaths (and the first movie is more than that), but the franchise refused to go back to the pure fear of death itself. i hate corporate greed so fucking much!!!
Enstars
May 19th, 2023
i've always thought about himeru being plural, and like, in my heart it's canon. no one can take that away from me.at first though, i imagined himeru as being a kaname introject, but the more i began to dig into himeru's character, especially in a plural context, it didn't make a ton of sense. i still want to toy around with the idea of a kaname introject's pseudomemories contributing even more to himeru's hate for tatsumi, but im still not super sure how to incorprate that into what i have at the moment, which you can view here, which goes more indepth into himeru being plural (and also a few other enstars characters).
it's hard getting all my thoughts about himeru down, but i'll start with himeru's distaste for tatsumi. to me, i interpret it as himeru wanting to hold on really tightly onto the only family he has left that he doesnt violently hate, which is kaname, and tatsumi poses a threat to that throughout the events of obbligato- himeru feels that tatsumi is 'stealing' kaname away from him, and planting ideas into kaname's head that 'shouldnt' be there. himeru's hate towards tatsumi starts here.
i'll be using raidou toujo as himeru's legal name from now on, to clear up some confusion.
raidou's personality is almost completely the opposite of himeru's personality that we see in the present. raidou is a bit of a sleezeball, doesn't really take things seriously, and is a big jokester. because raidou doesn't have very much family besides kaname, raidou wants to do his best at helping his younger half brother- sort of also becoming the father that neither kaname nor raidou had in an attempt to right what was wrong. over time during the events of obbligato, raidou feels the need to change who he is, and as a result of stressing himself to be the best big brother for kaname, and splits off a headmate whom i'll be calling 'R2' for simplicity's sake.
suddenly, 'raidou' has changed tremendously after only a short amount of time knowing each other, and kaname is really offput by this. kaname questions R2, and R2 doesn't provide an explination. R2 is much more strict, hardworking, and productive than raidou. he creates the himeru persona for kaname, and after this, their relationship sours. R2 is frustrated with kaname not fitting the himeru persona 'well enough', and kaname takes the heat from him, because raidou is his only family as well- kaname doesn't want to instantly fuck up his relationship to his brother, so he goes along with what he says. kaname also believes that raidou knows what's best for him, so he doesn't want to mess up his dream of becoming an idol.
throughout obbligato, raidou and R2 switch a lot. over time, R2 takes up the bulk of the front, and raidou has begun to front only at night. raidou begins to enter a depressive state as the dissociation caused by R2 fronting a lot begins to take its toll. raidou can barely remember anything that happens when R2 fronts, and doesn't ever feel like himself when he is fronting.
after kaname's (and tatsumi's) hospitilzation, raidou completly implodes. he blames kaname's injuries on himself, and his depressive state worsens tenfold. his dissociation, time blindness, and emotional state gets worse by the day, as raidou begins to have nightmares. he's no longer peppy or carefree as he once was, spending most of his time by kaname's side at the hospital, or in his small apartment nearby.
i know its a lot of like, story dump, but bare with me. R2 decides to take on the himeru persona, and from here on out, i'll refer to him by 'meru'. meru pretends to be kaname, and returns to idol work. meru is specifically the one who hates tatsumi, not raidou, and i really like the idea of both of them handling their grief differently. meru is proactive, he wants to get up and get moving and do things in order not to actually think about his negaitve emotions, because that's 'inefficient' to him. meanwhile, raidou can't do anything, and wallows in his feelings while reliving his trauma.
i just think theyre so silly!!!! :3